Letra de Dear abby

Dear abby,
Got a problem. i'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. it's
important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. but we just can't
afford to with the prices the way they are. so i bring home some choice cuts from my
autopsy subjects. just mix in the tuna helper:and ta-da!
The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. they ask me what's
my secret. abby, i think they're getting suspicious. my smart-ass 8-year-old keeps
asking, "where's all the meat? the red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge."
If they find out the truth i don't think they'll understand. abby, what do i tell
my family?
dear reaganomics victim: consult your clergyman. make sure the body's
blessed and everything should be just fine