Letra de Adventures in failure

(No one can do it better)

Damn I hate this job
to work in this dump you gotta be a snob
everybody gets on my nerves in this place
I think I´ll take the afternoon off from the rat race
an exciting career
don´t amount to much but a pain in the rear
I bust my ass all day for a dollar
and then I go home and listen to the kids holler
devoted spouse waitin´ in the den
wants to hit me upside the head with a rolling pin
does that ring a bell?
a daily routine we all know well
I´m makin´ more but enjoyin´ it less
the good life´s mainly causin´ me stress
making a change is difficult but
I gotta try to get out of this rut
but fear seems to be holdin´ me back
courage is the principle trait I lack
I gotta calm my nerves so I can think
I pour myself a nice stiff drink
and another this is my usual mode
one for the money and ten for the road
ah, now everything is clear
I gotta get the hell out of here
Yes now my mission is plain
a Big Mac is calling my name
I gotta sample some of Ronald´s cooking
so I raid my wifes purse when she´s not looking
pondering the wonderful thing called marriage
I accidentally back the car into a baby carriage
´scuse me ma´am I´d love to stay and chat
but watch where you´re going next time you old bat
I hit the gas and zoom down the block
leave ´er in the dust yellin´ for the cops
swervin´ round a corner tryin´ to steer
I get so excited I almost spill my beer
a neighbourhood dog is yappin´ at my bumper
so I slam on the brakes and I hear a big thump
I jump the curb and land up on a lawn
then I finish my beer and turn the radio on
some idiot´s goin´ on about rehab
I grab a brew and yank on the pull tab
here comes a little old lady with a shot gun
I put the pedal to the metal and she runs
digging on my off-road driving power
I do a donut in a bed of flowers
then I jerk the wheel a little to hard
the car rolls over and over on out of the yard

(Causin´ much destruction)
(Act the fool)

I come to rest in the middle of the street
a bunch of empty beer cans rattlin´ at my feet
starin´ in the window is a nosy little brat
I look him in the eyes and say "I meant to do that"
then I notice my watch says I´m overdue
for my big appointment at the local drive through
I do a number on the accelerator
and I´m cuttin´ in line about thirty seconds later
whaddya think this is?
some kinda joke?
gimme 10 Big Macs and a small diet coke
I pull up to the window with my radio playin´
I grab the bag and leave without payin´
I weave down the road for a block
jugglin´ a beer and a a styrofoam box
pull into a parking lot and kill the motor
presently I notice a peculiar odour
a little black smoke is risin´ from the hood
somethings gonna happen and it´s probably not good
I open the door grab my stuff and go
just in time to watch the whole thing blow
the car explodes with a bang and a hiss
Oh boy, my wife is gonna really like this
I can´t believe this is happenin´ to me
this piece of junk´s goin´ back to the factory
this was a blatant attempt on my life
everyone will fall for that
except my wife
but wait a plan begins to emerge
I suddenly have an overwhelming urge
to spend the night in the great outdoors
my suburban lifestyle has become a bore
I´ll build me a fire
and finish my burgers
what my wife don´t know
won´t hurt her
I leave the scene of the unhappy event
resolved to make the most of my predicament
a few yards away I feel better
I know! I´ll write ´er a letter
or better yet a ransom demand
got your husband send the money understand?
or else we´ll send his head home in a jar
P.S.
sorry ´bout the car
Yeah, now that ought to really do the trick
I´ll be gettin´ off the hook and she´ll be worried sick
but really, I´m gonna make it up to you honey
I´ll buy you a new car with your own damned money
I walk a while into the sunset
a man, at peace with the world, you bet
nothing can diminish my total enjoyment
except when I pass my place of employment
Damn I hate this job
to work in this dump you gotta be a snob
everybody gets on my nerves in this place
I think I´ll take the afternoon off
from the rat race

(Hard like a criminal)