Letra de A letter

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It´s so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I´ve always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I´ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess i figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that´s why i´ve always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And i guess that´s why it haunts the pages of everything-
To self-examine.

I think the thing is that i shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? yeah, probably.
But i don´t know that i had total control over it.
And i´m not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can´t do anything.
Plus, i´m the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
Just put their fingers down
I´d-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. i know i seem angry.
I´m not, i?i promise. i just know i did this to me.
And i will deal with it accordingly.

And i don´t need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don´t need them pointing out my problems, they´re mine.
Don´t need reminders, i know better than anyone.

And yeah, i know, i should be finding another way.
I know that i should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So i haven´t been.

Do i feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you´d probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
Wouldn´t you?

I know i should´ve moved on ages ago, been happy already,
But it´s never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know i´ve only ever tried a handful of times
To sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover´s bed worked.

But looking back i maybe never tried hard enough,
And it is my fault.

Maybe i never tried at all