Letra de Twelve-step suite

I. Reflection

Cunning, baffling, powerful
been beaten to a pulp
vigorous, irresistable
sick and tired and laid low
dominating, invisible
black-out, loss of control
overwhelming, unquenchable
i´m powerless, have to let go

I can´t escape it
it leaves me frail and worn
can no longer take it
senses tattered and torn
Hopeless surrender
obsession´s got me beat
losing the will to live
admitting complete defeat
Fatal descent
spinning around
i´ve gone too far
to turn back round
Desperate attempt
stop the progression
at any length
lift this obsession
Crawling to my glass prison
a place where no one knows
my secret lonely world begins
So much safer here
a place where i can go
to forget about my daily sins
Life here in my glass prison
a place i once called home
fall in nocturnal bliss again
Chasing a long lost friend
i no longer can control
just waiting for this hopelessness to end

II. Restoration

Run ? fast from the wreckage of the past
a shattered glass prison wall behind me
fight ? past walking through the ashes
a distant oasis before me
Cry ? desperate crawling on my knees
begging god to please stop the insanity
help me ? i´m trying to believe
stop wallowing in my own self pity
"we´ve been waiting for you my friend
the writing´s been on the wall
all it takes is a little faith
you know you´re the same as us all"
Help me ? i can´t break out this prison all alone
save me ? i´m drowning and i´m hopeless on my own
heal me ? i can´t restore my sanity alone
Enter the door
desperate
fighting no more
help me restore
to my sanity
at this temple of hope
I need to learn
teach me how
sorrow to burn
help me return
to humanity
i´ll be fearless and thorough
the enter this temple of hope
Believe
transcend the pain
living the live
humility
opened my eyes
this new odyssey
of rigorous honesty
Serenity
i never knew
soundness of mind
helped me to find
courage the change
all the things that i can
"we´ll help you perform this miracle
but you must set your past free
you dug the hole, but you can´t bury your soul
open your mind and you will see"
Help me ? i can´t break out this prison all alone
save me ? i´m drowning and i´m hopeless on my own
heal me ? i can´t restore my sanity alone

III. Revelation

Way off in the distance i saw the door
i tried to open
i tried forcing with all of my will and still
the door wouldn´t open
Unable to trust in my faith
i turned and walked away
i looked around, felt a chill in the air
took my will and turned it over
The glass prison which once held me is now gone
a long lost fortress
armed only with liberty
and the key of my willingness
Fell down on my knees and prayed
"thy will be done"
i turned around, saw a light shining through
the door was wide open

IV. reflections of reality (revisited)

Hello, mirror - so glad to see you my friend, it´s been a while.
searching, fearless - where do i begin to heal this wound of self-denial?
Face yourself man!
brace yourself and trace your hell back.
You´ve been
blinded,
living lie a one way
cold existence,
all the while.
now it´s
time to
stare the problem right between
the eyes
you long lost child.
I wanna feel your body breaking,
wanna feel your body breaking,
and shaking,
and left in the cold.
i want to heal your conscience making
a change to fix this dying soul.
this dying soul.
[spoken]
born into this world a broken home
surrounded by love yet all alone
forced into a life that´s split in two
a mother and a father both pulling you
then you had to deal with loss and death
everybody thinking they know best
coping with this shit at such an age
can only fill a kid with pain and rage
family disease pumped through your blood
never had the chance you thought you could
running all the while with no escape
turning all that pain in to blame and hate
living on your own by twenty one
not a single care and having fun
consuming all the life in front of you
burning out the fuse and smoking the residue
Possessive obsessions,
selfish childish games.
vengeful resentments,
passing all the blame.
[spoken]
living out a life of decadence
acing without thought of consequence
spreading all your lies from coast to coast
while spitting on the ones that matter most
running power mad with no control
fighting for the credit they once stole
no one can ever tell you what to do
ruling other´s lives while the can´t stand the thought of you
A living reflection,
seen from miles away.
a hopeless affliction,
having run astray.
I wanna feel your body breaking,
wanna feel your body breaking,
and shaking,
and left in the cold.
i want to heal your conscience making
a change to fix this dying soul.
this dying soul.
Now that you can see
all you have done,
it´s time to take that step
into the kingdom.
all your sins will
only make you strong,
and help you break right
through the prison wall.

V. release

Come to me my friend
(listen to me)
I´ll help this torture end
(help to set me free)
let your ego go
(i can´t carry this load)
you can´t go through this alone
(i feel so hopeless and exposed)
you´ll find your peace of mind
(give me some direction)
you can no longer hide
(break out of this isolation)
let humility
(openness, honesty)
and become what you can be
(a healing tranquility)
Help me,
save me,
heal me,
i can´t break out of this prison all alone.
[spoken]
these tormenting ghosts of yesterday,
will vanish when exposed.
you can´t hold onto your secrets,
they´ll only send you back alone.
Your fearless admissions
will help expel your destructive obsessions.
with my help i know you can
be at one with god and man.
Hear me,
believe me,
take me,
I´m ready to break right through this prison wall.

VI. Ready

Proud enough for you to call me arrogant
Greedy enough to be labeled a thief
Angry enough for me to go and hurt a man
Cruel enough for me to feel no grief

Never could have just a part of it
I always need more to get by
Getting right down to the heart of it
The root of all evil has been running my whole life

Dirty enough for me to lust
Leaving nothing left to trust
Jealous enough to still feel envious
Lazy enough to sleep all day
And let my life just waste away
Selfish enough to make you wait for me

Driven blindly by our sins
Misled so easily
Entirely ready to leave it behind
I´m begging to break free

Take all of me
The desires that keep burning deep inside
Cast them all away
And help to give me strength to face another day
I am ready
Help me be what I can be

VII. Remove

Self-centered fear has got a hold of me
Clutching my throat
Self righteous anger running all through me
Ready to explode

Procrastination paralyzing me
Wanting me dead
These obsessions that keep haunting me
Won´t leave my head

Help to do for me what I can´t do myself
Take this fear and pain
I can´t break out this prison all alone
Help me break these chains

Humility now my only hope
Won´t you take all of me
Heal this dying soul

I can feel my body breaking
I can feel my body breaking
I´m ready to let it all go
I can feel my body shaking
Right down to the foundation
The root of it all

Take all of me
And the drive that keep burning deep inside
Cast it all away
And help to give me strength to face another day
I am ready
Help me what I can be
I am ready
Come to me
Take me away

VIII. Regret

Hello, mirror, so glad to see you my friend
It´s been a while...

Staring at the empty page before me
All the years of wreckage running through my head
Patterns of my life I thought adorned me
Revealing hurtful shame and deep lament

Overwhelming sorrow now absorbs me
As the pen begins to trace my darkest past
Signs throughout my life
that should have warned me
Of all the wrongs I´ve done for which I must repent

I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven´t
Sometimes you´ve got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And sometimes you´ve got to be strong
When you think it´s too late

Staring at the finished page before me
All the damage now so clear and evident
Thinking about the dreaded task in store for me
A pit of fear at the thought of my amends

Hoping that this step will help restore me
To face my past and ask for forgiveness
Cleaning up my dirty side of this unswept street
Could this be the beginning of the end?

I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven´t
Sometimes you´ve got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And just when you´re through hanging on
You´re saved

IX. Restitution

"Until that moment, I´d never felt like I´d failed at anything...And I felt
like I failed her...And I failed myself, and I failed my children...It´s still
really hard to deal with."
"I want to thank you for helping me to see my own selfishness and to tell you
how regretful I am it has hurt you."
"I´m sorry I didn´t visit you in the hospital, Grandpa when you were on your
deathbed. I´m sorry I didn´t come to your funeral...I don´t know if I was
selfish or just too scared to face it. It´s one of the biggest regrets of my life."
"I´m here to confess with you that what I did, was wrong... And I´m asking for your forgiveness..."
"The only unforgivable thing hauls itself out of bed, looks over my shoulder
at the bloody English weather..."
"I really regret not being able to see my friend Andy..."
"One of my best friends who´s the godfather of my daughter, he asked me to sing or play something at his wedding, and I turned it down because I was busy and, I guess, too much of a chickenshit to do it...And I feel sorry for that, because it was a very very close friend of mine..."
"So, I wanted to apologize to anyone that I´ve upset or offended.. by my
words; it´s just an opinion, but unfortunately, I tend to express it as a
fact, and that´s kind of arrogant. Isn´t it?"
"I think it´s the betrayal...it still haunts me."
"I´m sorry for what I did back then... I was a different person. I really was
and I´m so sorry. I wish it wouldn´t have happened, but it did, and I´m sorry.
Forgive me. I´m sorry..."
"I guess I´m simply sorry for being me and not you. I so often wish you could
be here with me to show me the way..."
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realise that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled amongst us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialise if we work for them.

"You´re only as sick as your secrets, but the truth shall set you free..."
"The truth is the truth, so all you can do is live with it."

X. Restraint

Freedom calls my name
Serenity keeps me sane
Happiness -- it dulls the pain
Honest to see my place

Open to other ways
Willingness to understand
Justice but do not judge
Courtesy for others´ flaws

Kindness -- it´s not that hard
Self-restraint of tongue and pen
Inventory -- my daily friend
Analysis let down your guard

Look in the mirror
What do you see?
The shattered fortress
That once bound me

Faithful ascent, through darkest fires
I´ve found the path to take me higher

You´re smart enough for me to trust go live your life now
Just keep these steps in your life and you´ll know how
If you´re not sure, ask yourself,
"Have I done to them as I would have them do to me?"

Look in the mirror
What´s that you see?
The shattered fortress
Fly now be free

Faithful ascent, through darkest fires
I´ve found the path to take me higher

I once thought it better to be right
But now I have finally seen the light
Sometimes you´ve got to be wrong
And learn from mistakes
I live with serenity now
Not self-righteous hate

XI. Receive

(Help me be a channel of Thy peace
That were there is hatred, I may bring love
That were there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness
That were there is discord, I may bring harmony
That were there is error, I may bring truth
That were there is doubt, I may bring faith)
Now that you can see all you have done
(That were there is despair, I may bring hope
That were there is shadow, I may bring light)

It´s time to take that step into the kingdom
(That were there is sadness, I may bring joy)

All your sins will help to make you strong
(That I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted
That I may seek to understand, rather than to be understood)

And help you break right through the prison wall
(That I may seek to love, rather than to be loved,
for it is by self-forgetting that one finds,
it is by forgiving that one is forgiven)

Keep all of me
The desires that once burned me deep inside
Help me live today
And help to give me grace
To carry out your ways

I am ready
Help me be all I can be
I am ready
Help guide me and keep me free

XII. Responsible

I am responsible when anyone, anywhere
Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there
I am responsible when anyone, anywhere
Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there